Alright, whiplash news.
My last birth client for the foreseeable future will be in July. The part that birth workers don't go into much discussion about is being on call. Being the safe harbor is something that we hold in the highest regard and become at the highest price. Our loved ones. As with any on-call lifestyle, being away from family is almost always a given. Each client requires me to be on call for up to 3 weeks 24/7. This is why I have only taken a certain number of births per month over the years. When we are away from those we love, there is always guilt and dis-regulation within our lives. Dis-regulation is not always a bad thing. It just means that commitments are harder to promise and very little down time is able to be had without the possibility of being called away. However, birth workers do this willingly and without complaint. Showing up for the job is just a part of it. Being 100% available emotionally, psychologically and spiritually for the unique needs of each different family is something taken seriously in the community. There simply is no room for error when you are supporting another person's vulnerability. We miss milestones in our own families to be there for others'. The sole reason that I am doing this is because my child needs me in ways that require more than just my full attention. As he grows older, his needs simply need more. Those close to us know the specifics of our life and have been incredibly supportive. However, hiring babysitters to be on-call, away from their own lives, for sometimes up to 30 hours at a time, so I can be there for my clients, is not a feasible request for my particular situation. We have no family here. Our beautiful village is scattered from us and that is okay. Sometimes they actually have driven 5+ hours to assist me whenever help has failed to follow through. I couldn't have done it this far without them.
With that being said, I will be going back to where it all began with weddings and all things love. I know that I don't necessarily "owe" anyone an explanation but with being so immersed in the birth world, I understand this move would look unstable without one. Adaptability is my biggest strength and always has been. I prefer to work alone when it comes to handling the vulnerability of the families I love so much, so working with a partner is something I've never been willing to do. I require excellence from myself when it comes to working with families that hire me and if I feel like I cannot even slightly achieve it, I have no business in giving anything less than my best. The birth space and women deserve nothing less than everything. As much as this pains me to place to the side, I know this work will be there when and if the time is right. There will still be blogs, information and resources shared but taking on new birth clientele is something I am not able to do right now. I am proud of the work we all have done so far. You all were part of a tiny revolution when supporting this work back in 2013 that has exploded into what it is today. Any success KPP has had in the birth world has come from the support of others. None of this was achieved alone. Your trust in the integrity of my work is something I cherish beyond almost everything in my life. It is valuable to me and I intend to honor it.
Thank you to my clients & biggest supporters that have made it possible to move in ways that I will never take for granted. I am able to provide for my child and myself because of your genuine support. I look forward to serving the wedding community again. 80% of my business comes from word of mouth so thank YOU. Any referrals or recommendations are greatly appreciated.
I've actually been really emotional about contemplating this. If I have seen "off" or "angry" recently, it's because I was and still am. It's a real grief process that I won't hide. Entrepreneurship is a complex relationship. However, now that pen is to paper about it and tears are out, I can accept this transition easier. Looking forward to delving into this next chapter and the growth that will come from it.
Thank you all, again. I love you all so very much.